English

What was your opinion of Christians, and of the church?


     Before, I was Catholic. I was baptized as a baby, but I didn't understand much of what was said. I had relatives who were Evangelicals, but they were very extreme. For example, you couldn't watch TV or read magazines, and to have so many prohibitions is not good because God, from my point of view, is not like that. He teaches you to love, like Jesus does. 

     So I used to think that Evangelical Christians were fanatical and closed to society. And I didn't like that. I didn't ever like Catholicism either because I felt that the people were hypocrites- they would beat their chests, thinking that going to church and praying the rosary would heal them of their sins, but they never truly repented. I saw the same people do the same rituals every year- going to the Virgin, but they continued sinning, continued treating others badly, continued cheating on their partners. So I said to myself, "What's the point of believing in God if it's this way?" 

What did you believe about God before becoming a Christian? 

     I always believed in God and in Jesus because I don't have a father and I saw him as a father-figure, but I didn't like they way the way the Catholic church did things, nor the evangelical church. So I didn't know what to believe in. I just always had it in my heart that I loved Jesus, but I didn't know how to learn more from Him, because I didn't have anyone to teach me, or maybe I simply didn't understand. Maybe my faith was small and the circumstances of my life didn't allow me to know God more at that time, but now I know Him, and I'm so happy.

Why did you change your mind?

     I changed my mind very gradually, because the truth is that I explored a lot before I could believe again, and truly follow Jesus. The way I did things before was that I accepted his existence, but I didn't follow what he says, or what the Bible says. I prayed a lot, and I felt very empty. I had tried to fill myself with other things; I even changed my religion. I thought that changing religion would fill me up, but it only worked for one or two months, and I started to feel that it was an obligation. When you feel like something is an obligation, there's really no point. 

     No, believing in God has to be something deeper, something that comes from the heart. So, I fell away again, and I got lost. I thought that myself, my job, and things of the world would be sufficient, but in the end, you always feel alone. And existing like that is horrible. Well, I was like that, until I could meet other people, and they invited me to become part of a small group. I'm so grateful because it was like a seed that was planted. And I started to read...

What happened when you started to read the Bible?

     Wow. Let's see, What was the first thing I read? Mark! I read Mark in the small group and that was good because I didn't understand it, or I understood according to my own interpretation. When they explained it to me, I realized I had a lot to learn, and that made me even more excited. So I came enthusiastically, very happy. I said, "How nice that someone is explaining the Bible to me."

     As time passed, I became more curious, and I wanted to read the Bible, so I bought my own Bible. At first I said, "Let's see, where do you start?" And from there, I felt like reading a whole book. Since we started in the gospels, I wanted to know what the gospel of John was about, so I started reading John, until I finished it. Then I started using an app to read Luke, which is another version of Jesus' story.

     So, I had spent my entire life believing in Jesus, loving him, but I never knew his story, and I never understood it. I didn't understand his parables until now that I read them, and I reread, and I see that what Jesus teaches is very profound and very real. That is why we know Jesus is alive, and his teaching will always be here. His teaching was true in the past, it's true now, and it will continue to be because what he teaches is the way no live, and that won't change. 

What changed in your life after deciding to follow Christ?

     Let's see, since I accepted Jesus- in other words I understood that I needed to accept that he is the son of God and that he is our Savior- many things changed because I truly felt like I had been reborn. I was a very different person. Now I feel happiness in my heart, that even though I go through bad situations, or people hurt me, I will still have happiness in the background. 

     So Jesus has filled me and I can truly say that I love him more than anything. If he were here, I could go with him, and take nothing. Because that's how it is. With Jesus I am not afraid of anything. I feel that I can do anything, and he will always be protecting me. I will never be alone, literally, I could be without anyone else, or something could happen and I have to move to another country, and I know that I won't be alone. I know that Jesus is with me. That gives me confidence. 

     I never thought that I would be able to give up someone I love. I thought that I would always prefer the love of a boy, and then God, but now I can say that I prefer Jesus more than romantic love, because that love is fleeting. This world will eventually end, and in the end we will be with God, and so that is the most important thing for me right now.